E's World

Hey, I don't exactly know what I want to talk about today. I feel a bit under the weather but I still can cope with my feelings. I barely stop smiling as always cause I don't want to spoil everyone mood. I mean't I'm an adult I can do everything that I want but not everything. There still a huge wall that separate me from the adult world. I don't want to rush things. I just want to take time or just fool around. 17 more days till 2018. I try my best to make it a perfect ending of 2017 but it's hard. I feel like something pull me behind from walking forward. I just want to be free for once. I have nothing to worry about. I want to smile sincerely not because of other people but because I felt something. I could cope with my depression now and then. And yes it always end make me cry. Next year, I'm going to look for a job. 19 year old kid just finish her high school and jobless which is totally normal I guess hahahahaha.... I have one wish that's please t...

Hey, I know it's been a long time if I'm not mistaken. Here I am sitting on my bed wishing that I could go back to the place that I've been to. Surprisingly I have so much fun. I can't stop smiling for one reason which is funny. I bring positive vibe at there.  My uncle and my aunt took me and my sister to go there which I found very interesting. For one I'm interest in my uncle's driver hahahahaha.... wth? I know it sound ridiculous but it's true. I remember the first day I arrive at the airport waiting outside for our driver and there he was. He was going to put on his jacket but let's just say he stop for a second hahahaha... and that time I was like what's going on this is super creepy. So I lean against my aunt. We were talking about a man wearing cowboy's hat at the wedding so at that time we met a guy wearing cowboy's hat and I end up crack up. I dib for the passenger sit at the front and that time I didn't know he was going to dr...

Hey, so today I actually follow my mom to her work place including to see the Regatta 2017 at here. It was fun and very crowded. I actually took the opportunity to buy some street food AKA finger food. That's what my English teacher called it. My sister got annoyed that I keep telling her that we should keep turning around seeing what people sell at their stalls. I finally found the homemade wedges that I've been wanting since last year. Thank God! I actually bought  2 packet of them since I'm obsessed with it. I told my sister that today was very fun. I even observe people and that time I saw a man. People call him a crazy man. He wore a very thick vest, knee pad, those heavy boots. I notice he even wear those weird necklace which contain whistle and medal? I was wondering and ask myself where the hell is his kids? Why didn't they took care of him? When the weather turn cloudy and start to rain. He literally sit on the sidewalk and he pray. I may not be a good person ...

Hey... it's been awhile, today is the last day of my finals and there are 5 more paper to go till school holidays and my head have been loaded with piles of work. Let's just say I study last minute for my finals which isn't a good idea. You were give a very short time to revise all the things that you have study before and I really don't like to do the last minute work because one, you'll lost your appetite when you busy doing revision. If my parents didn't force me to eat I won't touch any food in my house. They worried because I have stomach problem so that's why I have to eat no matter how much I don't want to eat 😭. I did graduate from high school. My mom came but my dad, he has work so he couldn't come so its fine. Cause when I get my degree all of them must come I don't care how busy they are. It's a must. Family drama still going on but since I have exam going on I don't want to think about it cause I want to focus on my exam...

Hey it's me again. I know it's has been awhile since I update anything here. I have good news. I ace in my english test. I get 3/6. Which is a good thing for me. 5 more marks till 4/6. I know I can get better than that but I'm utterly grateful for the marks. I being honest. My shyness still there. I try to be cool and stop panic but it keep coming to me especially when the times I need to do some class presentation. My mind was blank and I can't answer any question. I keep telling myself to be cool. My teacher has give us a new task which I called "the table has turned" because it's our turn to teach our teacher. She want us to revise it for finals. So the only way for us to study is giving us a task like that. I'm not a fan but if this thing will do good to me then I will do it. No matter how many times I stutter. This is a practice. Sure is I guess. On 27th October, I will be wearing those blue robes and the square cap which mean I'm graduatin...

Hey.... it's me again! hahaha... but today I actually turn official 19 which I'm not that proud of. It's me and my friend birthday, twinnies? Probably hahaha... we were born on different time. Me and him talk about this before and he was born in the dawn while me at sunset. Happy 19th birthday to meeeee.....🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂 I've been spending the day with reading some of the wishes my friends send to me but I receive none from my family which I don't really care. They always like that. People with money tend to treat us like that cause to me, I kinda used to it which I don't really give a shit. I actually injured my back. I slip on the floor, my butt land on the floor. It was not only embrassing but I've been in pain for 3 days now. I can't sit well. I actually sit with cushion underneath me hahaha... it hurt like damn. I made up my mind and I post my first chapter of my book. I decide to wrote a story base on my experience.😞. Oh ...

Heyyyy.... it's me again, E as usual. I have so much fun today. I get to play volleyball with my classmate. I practically playing volleyball with a very long skirt which doesn't exactly follow the rules but who cares, it's only for training. Anyway, today me and my friends use google maps just to search for our house which I think is very funny. So this mean I'm not the only one who love google maps and search for people's houses 😄. I dream of J today when I took a nap and I feel surprisingly annoying... Believe me I am very annoying when I woke up from my dream. I just can't get over him. I try to stop thinking about him, but he suddenly appear in my dream. I feel like I've been haunted by my own memory. I get it that I messed up but I just can't stop think about him. I've been distracting myself from thinking about him but I just wish he stop appear in my brain cause for now. TBH I wish he did text me back. Tell me that I'm not a very good pe...

Good afternoon everyone, the reason why I didn't write anything  is because of school work and with this semester I can't repeat the exam is I fail so I try to work hard for this semester if I want to go to the university that I'm going to apply next year. I feel extremely lazy when my mom tell me and my siblings that we're going to have dinner with her brother 😔. There so many things going on since the last two years. But I'm proud of myself that I pass in my exam for the last two years but as usual your cousin try to tell you that you didn't do well but you fail. I didn't fail and I'm pretty sure I ace my exam without give a shit about family drama and boyfriends. I know that I only get 1A but atleast I didn't have E of worse G . I pass my exam with the help of 10$ tuition from school and I stay at school till noon to have extra class with my Science teacher. I really work hard to not fail. But who give a damn about it when you're stinky rich...

Heyyyy.... How you doing? Fine? Anyway.... I was in the middle of doing the assignment more like groupwork assignment... hmmm.... We actually divide the work while at school and right now I'm stuck with it and I can't watch Fight for my way back korean drama due to my unfinish assignment. The only thing that I don't like is when I'm cranky, it's impossible for me to control my anger no matter how hard I try. So for now I'm okay and slight headache. I want to stay awake the whole night but I can't! urgh!! I have 3 more month till I leave high school and I can't wait. TBH I'm scare like I want to just stuck in bed and don't bother to get up. I'm not ready for the outside world. It's not that beautiful once you step out. I don't really know to describe it but I've been imagine it had been like Gotham city in Batman movie. Maybe it won't be that bad if you know how to deal with it and yourself. I notice that once teen around my a...

Hey... and here I am sitting on the floor after I help making Shepherd's pie. Mom want to have them for dinner so me and my sibling decide to make the pie for her. I've been reading this dude post about the day he went through. I know I have no rights to judge but after reading what he wrote on the facebook I feel bad for him, to me he deserve something more than being treat like a piece of shit. I'm glad he has friends that could help him and be there for him when he need them. I don't think anyone deserve to be treat as if they were nothing. that's a crap! Even I was treated differently at school just because I always sit by the desk and read a book. I admit I was a loner or whatever they wanna called me. That's their deals not mine. They think being a loner is sad and a huge disappointment. Actually being a loner is not a huge disappointment, it's just I like to be by my own or have very little friends. I don't have to worry about hurting other peopl...

Heyyy.... it's school night and I was suppose to go to sleep... so.... Yesterday has been a very tiring day, there were so many people came over to my uncle house (mom told me). Things that I want to say is the thing that have been playing in my mind and it start to annoy me. I think I've been imagine things that I wish it won't happen in the future. the things that have been playing in my head is if I ever meet J. How the hell am I going to see him if he hasn't talk to me since April? The only thing that I want to do is just move on and try to push anything that hold me from moving on. I have a life, he has a life. Probably he's  better than mine eventhough he keep saying that his life is awful, one thing that I know for sure is he should learn to be grateful. Being grateful is better than being ungrateful. I admit that I'm not a perfect human being. I make mistake all the time with my cranky attitude but when it comes to grateful I'm cool with it. Let...

Hey guys, I was suppose to go to sleep instead of stay awake and do things that distract me from sleeping. Anyway, I've been spending my school holiday by visiting my relatives house cause it's Eid ul-fitr. Happy Eid ul-fitr everyone!!! I think this is my second Eid being sick first cough now runny nose. I can't stand it and that's mean I can't get closer to babies. Recently I'm with someone but he haven't contact me like 2 month because of me being a jerk, eversince the accident happen the things that happen between us has torn apart. We both argue many times. The worse part is I've stay and he left. Just like that. Without a word. I told him I'll be with you no matter what happen. That's what friends for right? But he took it the wrong way and use it against me. So I took the whole blame for being such an idiot. Still thinking that I'm Patrick from the Perks of being a wallflower? yes I do. I want to apologize but he didn't give me a c...