I pass my exam ?!?!?!?!?!?! WHATTTT?????
I pass my exam with a CGPA 2.91. My first very own University result. Goddd I thought I was gonna fail. For the exam in the past of two years legitly give me trauma. I end up in tears. My dad yell at me. My family... well my family apparently, they like to kill someone from the inside. But this sem I pass, I legitly thought I was going to fail but oh my god, my wish came true! If I didn't get C on my elective subject I would get 3.0 but well atleast I get to lift one burden off my shoulder. I was going to talk about something else but hahahahahha.... my grades distract me. One thing that I want to say is I am so bless having great friends. They are amazing. I try to keep up by being friendly and not awkward and I made it.
I was going to talk about something that I chat with my friend last night. We talk about my mental problem. Eversince I left high school, I've notice I have anxiety. Anxiety being around people. In other word social anxiety. I can't be around people who's unknown to me. When I'm with my friend, I was perfectly fine but everytime I walk to class, it was a dead end. So by the end of the month I'm going to start with Semester 2. As I recall I am a problem to people surround me. People tend to assume things that happen to me and just dump me as if I was a trash. I know some people say go talk to the professional.
I've been thinking about this for the past two weeks, trying to figure out what is my problem and how to face it. But then something came out, I was right, these people tend to treat me as if I was a problem or a freak (thanks roommie!). I found out they do something out of a box, things that I thought they won't do it to me but they did. Now I'm freaking out about not living in a dorm but stay at home, or drive back and forth there. My insercurity came when I get back to my dorm last few weeks. I didn't feel unworthy but I learnt alot of things by living with someone who's not my family members. To be honest, I don't trust them anymore, I can't trust someone who I know going to betray me in the end. So I made up my mind by accepting this motto:
"Don't bother give a shit to someone who didn't appreciate you, don't kill yourself for unworthy people, don't bother to look back at someone who kill you before"
I know that trying to understand people who came into our life or try to adapt by living with them is difficult but TRYING isn't hard to do if you give effort to it. I try to adapt myself when I'm away from home. Being nice to people, have to tolerant, be kind to one another, respect other people who's older than you. But boy did I get fired with the opposite way. I talk alot about my housemate. Not that I want to brag about it but when it comes to 4 things that I just stated. I see no difficulty to do it. Well apparently I'm going to face it again in the next two weeks. I was hoping I get to change roommate but urgh! the office won't do it. So I just accept it. My only problem is trusting people. Maybe this is the thing that I should experience, So I will not have problem when I face it in the future.
Just like my parents used to told me just go with the wind. I'm not ready to face the world out there. But after all this shit happen I think I'm going to prepare myself.
I was going to talk about something that I chat with my friend last night. We talk about my mental problem. Eversince I left high school, I've notice I have anxiety. Anxiety being around people. In other word social anxiety. I can't be around people who's unknown to me. When I'm with my friend, I was perfectly fine but everytime I walk to class, it was a dead end. So by the end of the month I'm going to start with Semester 2. As I recall I am a problem to people surround me. People tend to assume things that happen to me and just dump me as if I was a trash. I know some people say go talk to the professional.
I've been thinking about this for the past two weeks, trying to figure out what is my problem and how to face it. But then something came out, I was right, these people tend to treat me as if I was a problem or a freak (thanks roommie!). I found out they do something out of a box, things that I thought they won't do it to me but they did. Now I'm freaking out about not living in a dorm but stay at home, or drive back and forth there. My insercurity came when I get back to my dorm last few weeks. I didn't feel unworthy but I learnt alot of things by living with someone who's not my family members. To be honest, I don't trust them anymore, I can't trust someone who I know going to betray me in the end. So I made up my mind by accepting this motto:
"Don't bother give a shit to someone who didn't appreciate you, don't kill yourself for unworthy people, don't bother to look back at someone who kill you before"
I know that trying to understand people who came into our life or try to adapt by living with them is difficult but TRYING isn't hard to do if you give effort to it. I try to adapt myself when I'm away from home. Being nice to people, have to tolerant, be kind to one another, respect other people who's older than you. But boy did I get fired with the opposite way. I talk alot about my housemate. Not that I want to brag about it but when it comes to 4 things that I just stated. I see no difficulty to do it. Well apparently I'm going to face it again in the next two weeks. I was hoping I get to change roommate but urgh! the office won't do it. So I just accept it. My only problem is trusting people. Maybe this is the thing that I should experience, So I will not have problem when I face it in the future.
Just like my parents used to told me just go with the wind. I'm not ready to face the world out there. But after all this shit happen I think I'm going to prepare myself.
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