Friend or Foe?
Hi, I know it's been awhile since I update my blog. I just started new semester. I'm in my third year now in the university. Life has been hell as usual. Today I would like to talk about "FRIEND".
This post isn't about getting support or make myself looked like a victim but sometimes it doesn't seem fair for me to be in this situation. So yesterday I was busy attending my ODL class and my instructor text us in our group messenger and asked us to come up with a group. But the problem is that they require 4 pax per group. But in my group of friends, there's 5 of us and I don't have the intention on bailing them because I support my friends without caring whether they are good in doing their work or procrastinating. So I text my lecture to persuade her to add 1 more person in my group project. But she needs reasons, reasons that make sense and to know why did I all of sudden request something that is impossible. So I told her that this particular person don't engage well with the other students and some of them won't accept her in the group. I told my friends the reason and after that she took it hard and feel emotional about it. We can say that I constitute a problem in our group thanks for the truth from the text.
I know that I did something wrong and I immediately apologize to her and I know how sensitive she is. See? I UNDERSTAND her condition and I APOLOGIZE for what I've done to her. But did she did the same thing to all the friends that she hurt before? No. She can't let go of her ego. Even when she apologize to her friend there's still ego and she create sarcastic remarks toward them. I love this girl and I took her under my wings after she was pushed away by her friends. She adamant people to forget everything that she had done and start a new life. What she had done toward her friends is worst than what I did toward her. I don't planned on bringing back the past and badmouth her but I just really hate when they pointing fingers at me and turned me into a villain. I was just being honest with my facts and it's true tho. It kinda hurt when you apologize to this person and they wouldn't forgive you and feed their ego.
I know the facts that everyone were born differently but we're friends. There have to be forgiveness. I can forget all the thing that she had done when I accept her. But she need to grasp the fact that I'm not the only one who became her victim at that time. All the girls becoming one of her pawns. To be honest, I want my university life to be smooth but there's so many mountain needed to be climb and the roads is full of thorns and pricks. I love her and I accept her but there so many things is unacceptable and I manage to ignore it and becoming her friends.
One advice that I can give is having a friend is like marriage, you have to accept their flaws. There's time when they will make you mad or fucked up. It's your choice whether you want to accept their flaws or left them. I took the path of staying with them. Because my responsibility as a friend is bring them to success, not failing them. This is because I love them as my own siblings and I don't have the heart of hurting them.
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