Crawling back to you - Daughtry

Hello....
I was suppose to be back home right now but I decide to stay because I join the Uni's function which is pretty rare for me because I'm not a person who's join any activity even back then in high school.
I was waiting for my friend to do the assignment. I was waiting for her part since I've already done mine and I'm pretty sure I understand what I jolt down in my journal. I'm afraid I won't wake up early in the morning since it's start early but who cares. I think I'm going to take a walk since I'm bored and tired. I am tired. Extremely tired. I want to go home but I can't bail on my friends. That's one.

Now I'm afraid I might end up depression. I have no mood to do anything. My stomach hurt and I have no appetite to eat. This is seriously fucked up. I always told myself be nice to anyone and smile but I think if I meet people right now I might just gave them a straight line smile. I'm just tired.
There's time that I'm tired of people around me, I just want to push them but I fight myself from doing it. I don't want to see people, I don't want to talk, I just want to be left alone.
But at the same time I felt lonely and need someone to talk. I can't stand this attitude that playing in my mind.


I just want to go home, I just want to ignore everything around me and be in my parents arm. I'm tired. I want my mom and dad. I may live near but I just need my parents most of the time. I don't want to live as an adult. I want to be an adult. I want to have dinner with them. I'm such a troublesome but I just want them everyday. I really hate living away from them. I thought I could do it but I can't. I hate the facts about the stupid rule that my cousin create saying 18 year old can leave the house and be independent. Those are shitty rules that she want to live in yet she still live with her parents eventhough she has a newborn baby and a very helpless dorky husband that I can't hardly stand. I just hate them. I still remember the day when she say the perks of living away from parents is awesome and I swear it's suck. Crying almost everynight in my dorm. My roommie doesn't sleep in the room anymore. She live in the next room. What's the point of paying for the rent anyway? God! People are way more difficult than me. I thought I was the difficult one but I was very wrong about it.
I think I'm going to leave it here since I need to go to the other building to do the assignment with my friend.

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